A milestone birthday – my 50th – was approaching.
It seemed important at the time.
I wanted to do something wild and crazy to mark the five decades. I wanted it to be in an exotic country, rich in natural beauty, one I had never before visited.
I also wanted to confront a long-standing fear I had had since childhood, that of the deep ocean.
I gave the matter some thought. I did a bit of research.
An idea started to develop in my mind.
I wanted to travel to the country of New Zealand, to a place where I could swim with wild dolphins in the open sea.
My husband - used to my hair-brain schemes - went along with it. My daughter at that time was one year old. She didn’t have a choice.
We all three boarded a flight from Bangkok and made the long journey to far-flung Christchurch, slept for a full day, then rented a car and started the drive to the city of Dunedin.
We slowly drove the east coast of South Island, stopping at various towns along the way. Very gorgeous and dramatic scenery.
Eventually we arrived to Dunedin, my birthday destination. I was booked to swim with wild dolphins in the open sea, on precisely my 50th, 12 October 1997.
I have always had a fascination with, but deep-seated fear of, the sea. I have always had a fascination with, and love of, dolphins. Here was my chance to address both.
We decided our baby should stay in the hotel with her Dad whilst I embarked on this adventure.
As I headed for the pier, my heart was filled with excitement – and dread.
It was a big ship. We were given snorkelling and diving gear, and wet suits. As a harbinger, I had difficulty putting both on. Feeling – and probably looking - clownish as I struggled, I looked around. Was anyone else having this problem? Not that I could see.
A couple of things I had not thought about – but it was too late then!
The seas near Antarctica are ice cold! And rough! The extreme frigidity and turbulence immediately brought strong reactions - seasickness and uncontrollable shaking.
I reminded myself this was my 50th birthday, and I WAS GOING TO HAVE FUN, DAMMIT!
I looked at the gentleman seated next to me. He was also suffering from seasickness and a fear of the sea. We commiserated together, wondering out loud how we were going to cope.
The waves were high, the ship - quite a large one - rolled from one side to the other. The air was freezing. I felt like I would throw up at any minute.
Finally, the captain blew a whistle. A pod of dolphins had been sighted! There must have been about 20 or so, all coming up for air at the same time, and then all diving in. God, they looked so majestic!
At the sound of the whistle, we were to put on our snorkels and jump in! My travel companion and I looked at each other. There was fear written all over both of our faces.
The whistle blew again. I wanted so much to stay behind. But my inner voice was saying, "You didn't come all this way, and pay all this money, and make all these plans, to cop out at the last moment. This is your big chance to confront the sea, and swim with these beautiful creatures."
I told my travel companion. "Let's go! We'll jump in together!"
He nodded. And that was what we did.
I don't know how to describe the rush of ice water on my body, despite the wet suit. It felt like someone was wrapping my body in ice cubes. It nearly paralyzed me, suffocated me. I tried to swim, to conquer what seemed like mountains of water, to keep my body moving, and of course to search for the dolphins.
I could barely see through the goggles. So rough and tumultuous was the water that I gulped several mouthfuls of the salty stuff. Ugh!
The waves overwhelmed me. The cold immobilized me. My body told me to swim back to the ship. My mind told me to NOT GIVE UP!
But then, suddenly, there they were - swimming and diving ahead of me!
What a rush of adrenalin! I was with them! I could see them and feel their presence!
I wasn’t exactly swimming alongside them, but rather behind them. But what did it matter. I had achieved my goal! I had conquered the sea!
I was freezing too! A random thought raced through my mind. Would this ice water freeze my brain??
OMG! I HAD TO GET OUT!
I started paddling wildly, and clumsily, towards the boat. A faceless but kind somebody helped me to climb in.
But it was not easy to get back into such a huge boat, and I must have looked a sorry sight to the smiling, maddeningly confident staff.
But eventually, I made it, and found my companion already aboard, looking as sick as I felt.
“We did it!” I shouted.
He looked at me sideways, too sick to completely turn his head.
“Yes, we did,” came the response.
And then, for the first time that day, we both broke into big, wide smiles.
Land never felt so sweet! I nearly ran back to the hotel from the pier, shivering all the way.
When I got to the room, I checked on my baby (she was fine and oblivious to what I had just been through), shed all my wet clothes, jumped into a hot bath, then wrapped myself in blankets and plopped on the couch.
There I stood for the next two days, shivering right through the long nights!